High Anxiety Levels!

Have you been seeing the word “ANXIETY” everywhere?!?! I know I have. Is it just now something people are willing to talk about or do we finally have a better understanding about it?! (This is my story of a recent experience, not one of my normal posts.)

A month ago, I completed college and set out to start my blogging career (as you can tell it’s been slow) everybody said it would be hard….Well NO SHIT! If it was easy everybody would do it.

My plan was to get a job locally then put up a blog post every evening Monday-Friday. I thought it was a good plan UNTIL nobody wanted to hire me…yea I know I could work at Walmart or McDonald’s if I really wanted too. For me it is not about having just A job but a great job I enjoyed going to everyday. Those are not what I want to be doing they are great jobs just not what I am looking for.

You can Judge all you want , but I know some of you know what I’m talking about. Doesn’t everybody want a job they enjoy? I know a lot of people do have that, and some worked their asses off for it while others hit the jackpot.

Anyway, going away from my story…(I get carried away at times) So there I was going crazy not hearing back from anybody or getting the nice email saying “sorry we went a different way” You know those. Jake would come home and see I was really stressed about it. My friends with degree’s kept saying “Once you get a degree you will have a better chance of getting the job you want” and I believed them.

They might be right and I just happen to live in a state where opportunities are slim. Not to mention I always hear ” Job market is tough right now” most likely true but still a nice way to say …..SORRY

I tried to tell myself if I gave in and just got any old job I would hate it and be miserable. Jake was very supportive, yet honestly I felt like shit. I would lie awake for hours at night freaking out about how nothing was going to ever work out.

I had stressed myself out so bad my neck broke out in those painful zits! (gross I know!!) I didn’t even know that was a thing. I mean yea hormonal break-outs and all but damn never seen anything like this.

So of course a doctors appt. was made. If you have been keeping up on the posts you know I am a veteran so I go to the VA. My new doctor (that is a whole nother story in it’s self) and she of course asks…Are you stressed?…I took a deep breath and said calmly isn’t everybody? She was not amused btw

She immediately made me see a counselor on site. Sure, whatever you see fit your the DOC. So I go sit in this office and the lady was really nice (aren’t they all) and began asking simple questions…What do you do?….How is your home life?…etc

I was in her office about 2 hours when finally she finally put her notes away and said ” You have anxiety, high levels and I’m recommending the classes we over here.” ( I didn’t go btw) I’m sure it is very helpful but I thought the time I would be using to sit in a class I could be using to create blog ideas, and creating a LinkIN account. Which is what I did.

If you have actually read this whole post you might be wondering “what the fuck does this have to do with anything” My point is everybody has anxiety it is just most handle shit really fucking well. This was my first “outbreak” probably not my last. I am not embarrassed I am Human. And we all know everybody has stress in their everyday life’s why?? because it is life!

Sorry to say this story or rant has no happy ending as of this moment. Still looking for MY right job, and still trying to get this blog out there. I will keep trying and I will keep failing but I will not give up and that is what is going to get me there. (my neck is slowly healing)

I truly hope I did not offend or upset anybody I was just saying we all have our days. What are you thoughts on anxiety? Do you believe a lot of the tips you read? What do you do when you get stressed?

Till the next time

Have a lovely weekend!!!



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